Specifi….specifically…specifici….oh I give up!

Specifi….specifically…specifici….specificity – is that right? oh I give up!

Sometimes I have a bit of trouble saying the word ‘specificity’ – so I give up.

And it seems giving up when something doesn’t go quite right is a common thing for a lot of people.

Ever tried something and it hasn’t gone how you intended or would have liked? Or maybe the other person didn’t react in the way you thought they would? And that’s assuming you even try to do something and don’t give up before you’ve even begun.

Yet there are some things you can do which give you back control over feeling good while making progress.

1. Do it a different way

When I can’t say ‘specificity’ or even ‘specifically’ then I change the sentence to say something about getting specific.

And there’s nearly always more than one way to do something. So find that different way (or even a number of different ways) to do it and change the way you’ve been thinking about it.

2. Getting Specific

Get specific about what’s going on. As humans we are masters at creating broad generalisations out of one experience rather than taking the specific situation for what it is.

So rather than ‘that interview went badly – I’m so rubbish at interviews’ think about ‘that interview didn’t go too well - how can I improve for next time so I perform better?’

Rather than ‘that presentation was a disaster – I’m so useless; I can never show may face in public again!’ how about ‘that presentation didn’t go as well as I hoped, so what happened and how can I make sure that next time it goes the way I want it to?’

And rather than ‘I’ll never be able to run a mile’ remember that it’s probably more realistic to think that ‘I need to add to my training, or change how I do it, or be more realistic about my current fitness’

3. The power of ‘Yet’

Simply adding ‘yet’ onto the end of a sentence can transform how you think about it.

The word ‘yet’ implies that although you haven’t got it at the moment, it’s only a matter of time.

So it could be

‘I can’t run a mile….yet’

‘I don’t have the confidence to do it….yet’

‘I can’t do it…yet’

And then come up with your plan to start moving closer to where you want to be and take action.

4. Ask someone who can

Rather than just give up when things don’t go well, consider who you know or can ask who already knows how to do it. Maybe you just need some additional advice or information to learn how to do it.

How many times do we struggle on…or give up…thinking we need to have all the answers ourselves? Yet just asking others may give us all we need to keep the wheel of progress turning in the right direction.

So next time something doesn’t go to plan and you’re about to quit doing it and quit on yourself, consider how you could apply one of these four easy tips to the situation….specifically.

Dan Regan

Award-winning International Hypnotherapist & Coach